


Inferno

by Phiso



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Community: rs_games, Hell, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-04
Updated: 2012-01-04
Packaged: 2017-10-28 21:59:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/312606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phiso/pseuds/Phiso
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hell comes in many forms for Remus Lupin, and for some reason, he always volunteers to go in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inferno

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Dante's Inferno, with a few quotes from the book and some artistic liberty taken. Special thanks to Dece and Tech for betaing. For the 2011 rs_games, Team Remus. I changed the ending slightly from the original post for the games, but not by much.

If you are going through hell, keep going. **-** **Winston Churchill**

  
It is bright behind his eyelids.

He groans. Where am I?

Remus is sprawled out against the ground, his skin prickled by dry, hard grass. He feels a spider crawl over his hand, and he suddenly sits up, shaking it off and looking around. He is in a forest, he realizes, but not any one he remembers. This one is different. Because despite how dark and unwelcoming the forests he knows are, this one is more than just unwelcoming. Its darkness is heavy on him, pressing in on his lungs and making it difficult to breathe, and as his gaze raises up to the sky, he sees a silent sun, its outline rimmed in a bright white and peeking out from behind an ominous mountain.

Where is this place? What is going on? How did I get here?

He takes a step forward, and there is a chorus of roars. He starts in surprise, and within the span of a blink, a lion, a leopard, and a wolf are surrounding him, their hackles raised and their teeth bared. The growls tearing from their throats vibrate in Remus's chest, and he stares at them, unable to move. His hand slowly goes for his wand, but he realizes with a cold jolt that it isn't there. He is unarmed.

His heart pounding painfully in his chest, Remus instinctively bends at the knees, unsure of what good it would do but determined to go down with a fight. Still, as the wolf, then the lion, then the leopard each start moving forward, their paws padding quietly on the ground, Remus feels his heart constrict in terror, convinced that they were going to pounce on him any second now.

  
 _He was going back to danger, back to death, back to the werewolves. It didn't matter what anyone said. As bitter as he was at the request, he did not refuse. He didn't want to be in London anymore. London reminded him too much of him._

  
Just then, in the distance, off on the very bottom edge of the mountain looming in front of him, he sees a figure moving, bathed in as much mysterious light as he was smothered in darkness.

Help! he calls, his voice choked and panicked. Please!

And for a moment, there is nothing; then, again in the blink of an eye, the beasts are pushed back, snarling at the new figure standing beside Remus, emitting a light of his own so bright it makes Remus squint at first.

It's going to be all right, Moony, the figure says quietly. Don't worry.

Remus gapes at the figure, unable to speak, and a familiar hand is raised, its palm facing the wolf before them.

Be gone, and leave us in peace. We are on a divine mission, and you have no business with us. No darkness shall touch him while I am at his side.

The creatures do not look pleased by these words, but they step back, watching the pair warily. Finally, the newcomer turns to Remus.

It's been awhile, Moony, he smiles sadly.

James, Remus gapes, his eyes filling with tears. James, is that really - ?

We don't have much time, James interrupts, though he places a comforting hand on Remus's shoulder. Lily sent me; she knew you were coming. I need to take you somewhere. We need to find someone.

  
 _What are you looking for, Remus? they would ask him impatiently. What do you expect to find? There is nothing for you out there. Nothing but blood and dust and misery._

 _But they didn't understand. They didn't understand that he wasn't looking for something; he was looking for someone._

  
Where are we going? Remus asks as they walk, so focused on drinking in every hair on James's disheveled head and every glint on those old-fashioned glasses that he pays no mind to where they are headed. Who are we looking for?

You know the answer to that question, James says grimly, and Remus feels his insides twist.

Sirius, Remus whispers, and James nods. But why...? Where...?

You are just past man's half-life, James says, his voice low and full of sorrow, though you will not live to man's full potential. But despite this, you are not like most men. You have a key most don't, and are of the right age to use it.

What are you talking about?

There is a pregnant pause, and Remus fears the worst.

Sirius's soul is lost, James finally says, his voice dark and worried. It has fallen into Hell, and it does not belong there. You need to find it. And I will be your guide.

  
 _No one ever wanted to visit the werewolves, but few could truly appreciate the squalor they lived in without seeing it for themselves. There was unabating hunger, constant suspicion, and a gritty edge to life. There was no laughter and there were no smiles; there was only anger and stains with a chorus of screaming howls once a month that would send shivers down even their own spines._

 _Remus voluntarily went in, knowing full well what to expect. It was impossible to not know. After all, even those who lived in it their entire lives called it Hell._

  
Every realm is filled with souls, filled to the brim; Remus hadn't imagined there would be so many people. Were there really this many people destined to suffer for eternity? His blood runs cold, and he wonders what was to become of him when he died, he who held the key into Hell. He dares not ask James, though, for fear of the answer.

The souls, he notices, are not always fully there; some were shadows, and even some of these were oddly familiar, giving off a strange aura that he somehow recognized. James explains that the imprints of souls begin to show a certain time before a person's death, and that some of these shadows are of people who are still living on earth. This frightens Remus, this strange unknown knowledge of who was to die and where their souls would end up. He does not want to know these answers, but he cannot avoid them.

The first of the acquaintances is an old professor, Horace Slughorn, who is caught in the realm of the Indifferent; it takes Remus a moment to pinpoint the feeling, but once he does he blanches.

Will he really end up here? Remus asks, his voice shaking as he watches hundreds, thousands of spirits chasing after a banner that they will never catch. When is he going to..?

I cannot answer that question, James says, because I do not know the answer. But I would not fear too much, because a man's fate changes with every choice his makes. His soul is here right now because he cannot decide which side to fight for, and so chooses none; the moment he makes a choice, however, his soul will leave this place, and settle elsewhere based on the rest of his life.

So, Remus says weakly, anyone who can't decide will...?

The people who end up here are not punished for being indecisive about jam, Remus, James says reassuringly, a slightly amused smile playing on his lips that seemed wildly inappropriate in the gloom. They are sent here for much graver things. Now come. We are at the Acheron.

  
 _Demons, they say, are all in your head. They are your dark thoughts, your evil desires. Demons are not real in the way man is._

 _But Remus knows better than this, for the people who say this have never had to look evil in the eye. And Remus has done that far too many times._

  
Charon does not let them cross at first. He looks like a haggard old man, but his eyes show differently: they burn with a hellish fire, and Remus wonders if he is a demon in disguise. His surroundings would certainly suggest it; they are in what appears to be a cave with an impossibly high ceiling, thin columns of stone rising up out of a black river that gives Remus the chills. It is dark, but the water has a strange green glow about it, and when he risks a look into its depths, his stomach turns as he realizes he sees a human face.

He cannot come, the old creature says in a deep voice, one that makes Remus's heart skip an uncomfortable beat in surprise. He is alive, he is breathing. My ferry is not meant for those who can step onto the ground above.

He is coming, James says in a strange voice, one that feels oddly large. So it is wanted there where the power lies.

Charon glares at them, his fiery eyes angry slits, before settling his gaze on Remus. He instinctively holds his breath.

There is a pause, and Remus is afraid the demon-man will say no. But finally, he steps back, his chin high.

He has a key, Charon rumbles. The power has provided you with a key.

So they have, James says, and motions for Remus to follow him onto the ferry. As soon as Remus steps onto the hard, wooden floor, he feels rather than hears a chorus of wailing, words of blasphemy and loathing and terror filling him with their poison. His heart stops in horror and the world goes black, the voices fading as he slips away.

  
 _It is not your fault, she would tell him, her pink hair fading more and more with each meeting. Soon, it gave out to her natural brown, but her words never changed._

 _Remus, listen to me. It is not your fault he died. There was nothing you could do. There was nothing any of us could do._

 _But there was little truth to her words, though she would never understand. Because Sirius ran away from home, fought in the Order, and placed his life on the line for a reason. And a part of that reason was him._

  
When he awakens, they are in a new place; he is sprawled out on his back, the ground like stone beneath him. James is squatting down at his side, watching with a look of concern and now relief, and behind him there is an endless, black, cloudy sky.

Welcome back, James says with a smile. Remus instantly feels better for it.

Their journey is long and painful, with every level hotter than the one before, and every level more terrifying. Passing through limbo, they face another demon called Minos, a man with a serpent for a tail that sentences sinners by wrapping them with this tail, the number of rotations corresponding to the circle they were destined for. Minos gives Remus a searching look, his tail twitching eagerly as he does, but a word from James grants them save passage, a soft hiss following them as they continue on.

Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Anger - they pass through these four levels with dread, Remus both trying to avoid watching the punishments of the damned and yet trying to spot Sirius's face at the same time. With each circle, another instance of Sirius's flawed character flashes in Remus's mind - his sexual appetite, his love of good food and things, his clingy nature, his dangerous temper - and Remus finds himself nauseated by thought of Sirius being tortured like the souls around him. Sirius does not deserve that.

At the river Styx, both James and Remus are worried, as they have not found what they were looking for. As James steps forward, Remus's eyes are transfixed on the bodies in the water, biting and clawing each other with their teeth and nails, destined to fight forever, and a hard lump forms in his throat. He knows Sirius is not here; he can feel it, and he cannot tell if he is grateful or upset.

Moony, James calls, and Remus tears his eyes away. Phlegyas has agreed to take us across. Let's go.

The ride through the river is not without event; a soul stops them, a face Remus knows, and he shrinks back, his face pale as Walburga Black tries to get onto the skiff, her eyes bulging and drool dripping down the side of her chin.

You! she shrieks, pointing at Remus with a long, knobbed finger. You, you filthy half-breed, you disgusting piece of worthless scum, you failure and embarrassment to even the most foul of Dark Creatures, you are the reason my first born betrayed me, you are the reason he is dead -

Remus stares at her, petrified, as she seems to crawl closer and closer to him; he is terrified that she is going to pull him into the water and drown him. The moment he feels her fingers on his ankle, he automatically kicks back, hitting her square in the face; losing her grip, Walburga falls back into the water, screeching Remus's name in fury as she is dragged back into the fray.

Shaking in horror and feeling like he is going to be sick, he looks weakly at James, completely at a loss. James's face is as serious as he has ever seen it, and is so still that he looks like a statue.

I - I didn't meant to - Remus begins frantically. I just - she was going to -

No, James says quietly. No, she was going to pull you under. You did the right thing.

It is then that Remus notices that Phlegyas is looking at him with interest, and Remus tears his gaze away, letting it fall back on the place where Walburga had been just seconds before.

A gentle hand is placed on his shoulder, and once again he is filled with warmth.

We are almost across, James says. Keep your eyes on me until we get there. It will keep you safe. Remus cannot do anything but obey.

  
 _Many people judge Remus twice: once when they meet him, and a second time when they learn what he is. He is a perfectly nice and honest man until he tells the truth, and then suddenly he is dangerous and violent. No half-breed should be saved, they would say. No Dark Creature deserves the help of the decent._

 _When Remus was younger, he was afraid that one day, their thoughts would come true, and he really would become a worthless monster. When Remus grew older, he was half-convinced they were right._

  
Entry into Dis, the city of Hell where the lower levels are found, is blocked, and James is bewildered. He does not know what to do, and Remus is afraid, because they have not found Sirius yet.

They will not let us pass together, James says with a pale face as he comes back from negotiating with the guards, fallen angels with angry brows and black wings. I do not know why. They have let me through before, but they say they only want you.

You've gone through? Remus asks. Why?

This is not the first time Hell has tried to claim a soul that is not theirs, James says bitterly. Regulus was down here for far too long. I was sent to fetch him soon after I died, but his soul was damaged by then.

Damaged? Remus croaks.

He was in one of the deepest levels of Hell, where I think Sirius is being held, James explains, and Remus can at last see the fear in James's eyes as he speaks.

Is Regulus still...? Remus cannot finish the sentence; the idea is too terrifying to say aloud.

No, James says, and Remus sighs in relief. I found him and brought him to Purgatory, where he was purified before ascending. His soul was too damaged to go straight to Heaven, but with time, he was healed. Someone just needed to find him.

And I am meant to find Sirius, Remus says in a small voice.

Yes, says James.

And why will they let me in but not you?

James hesitates. When I first came, my soul wasn't pure enough, either. Being a martyr can only take you so far when you have blood on your hands. I imagine that the first time, I was still tainted enough to be allowed entry; now, however, it seems that I have lost that quality.

Imagine that, Remus says with a funny little smirk. Prongs, being told he's not mischievous enough.

A grin crosses James's face, though it is laced with sadness. It's a tragedy, he agrees.

There is a brief silence, and then Remus speaks.

Tell me the way, so that I might find him on my own.

James looks torn. I don't want you to go by yourself, he says. I am afraid that...

Remus looks at James, and the latter falters for a moment before continuing.

You have the key, Remus. You are the key. One must have a grievous enough sin to go this far, and Remus, I daresay that unfortunately, you could probably make it to the Pit itself.

Remus's heart falls, and James steps forward to embrace him.

It is not your fault, James whispers in his ear, and Remus squeezes his eyes shut. You were not given this curse by choice. And the powers that be know this. They can see what you have done with the lot you have been given and are proud.

If I go down there, Remus says with much difficulty, will I be trapped?

I do not know, James admits sadly. But I hope you will not be.

  
 _They called him a traitor. They called each other traitors. And even now, in the Second War, there was a bounty on his head, enough of one that even some of the other werewolves eyed him hungrily, tempted to turn Remus in._

 _There had been a bounty of Sirius's head, too. Somehow, remembering that made him feel closer._

  
He passes through the sixth circle quickly, somehow knowing Heresy was not Sirius's prime charge. It isn't until the seventh circle that Remus is forced to pause, his eyes scanning a river of boiling blood and fire for a familiar face. He does not see Sirius, but he does see another face - the violent Evan Rosier, who is so submerged in the river that Remus cannot even see his eyebrows. The only reason Remus even knows he is there is because Rosier emerges from the river as Remus passes him, his evil face twisted in a terrifying scowl.

Welcome home, werewolf, he laughs, before he is shot in the chest by a centaur's arrow and forced to submerge yet again. Remus stares at the spot where Evan stood for a moment, trying desperately to catch his breath, before he moves forward, his heart full of trepidation.

He faces more horrors - people transfigured into thorny bushes and trees and fed on by Harpies; people chased and mauled by packs of wild dogs; people trapped in a desert of flaming sand, with flakes of fire raining down upon them - but every time, he is thwarted. Sirius is not in any of these places, and Remus's begins to panic, noticing how intently the faces watch him from circle to circle.

The tortures do not get better, and Remus has to stop and retch multiple times; it is impossible not to, faced by men being whipped by demons or buried in excrement. Another boiling lake appears, this one filled with pitch; this is followed by thieves being chased and bitten by serpents and lizards. Circle after circle appears with more and more pain, and as Remus's mind is filled with the horrors of mutilated bodies and suffering faces and pitiful screams, he finds it hard to remember why he came at all. Every look he is given reminds him that he may be kept down here if he is not careful, and soon the only reason he continues is because he is determined to do so. There is nothing left to his existence but to keep moving.

It isn't until the Ninth circle that Remus recovers his memory, and he has to fight the urge to scream as it hits him like a ton of bricks. There is another lake here, a frozen lake of ice, and in the distance, among a sea of heads poking out of the lake's surface, Remus can see what he has been looking for.

Sirius's name tears out of his throat as he begins to run, and he ignores the miserable eyes of those around him as he slips and falls again and again onto the hardened ice, trying very hard to not pay any attention to the heads he inadvertently kicks or steps on. His breath is coming out in short gasps, feeling like his lungs are being ripped to shreds with every inhalation, but soon he has slid down beside Sirius's face, his face white and his body shaking from the cold.

Sirius looks up at him, his body encased in ice, his face both young and old, beautiful and gaunt, and filled with terror and despair. He stares at Remus hungrily but fearfully, and Remus wants to cry.

Moony? Sirius whispers. Moony? Is that really you?

With those words, Remus really is crying, and he has Sirius's face in his hands, kissing him on the forehead, the nose, the lips. It's me, Padfoot, he weeps, it's me. I'm here. I was sent to find you.

You aren't real, Sirius whines pitifully, like a dog, and Remus feels his heart break. You aren't real, you can't be, you're a trick, another trick sent to hurt me...

There is a cruel laugh, and Remus turns; the face of Barty Crouch, Jr. faces them, his eyes as blazing as his lips are blue.

Are you moving in? Crouch cackles. Funny, I didn't think you had any family to betray.

Don't listen to him, Remus says, wiping his eyes with the back his hand and looking around for something, anything with which to free Sirius. I'm here to get you out of here.

Maybe you missed your stop, Crouch sneers. I'm surprised no one has tried to claim you for their own yet, werewolf.

Shut up, Remus snaps, trying very hard not to betray his panic. Sirius, do you know what I can do - do you know what James did to get Regulus out of here - ?

But as Sirius opens his mouth to speak, suddenly everything goes black.

And the next night, it started all over again.

  
 _No one wanted them to die. They were troubled, but they were kind, the young parents, and they were dearly loved._

 _But funnily enough, Remus didn't mind. He was tired of the reoccurring dreams and of his dismal reality, of the journeys to Hell that never ended. Because once he was dead, it was over._

 _He could finally go home._


End file.
